The dramatic changes in my life have given me the opportunity to be free and to discover an entirely new side of me. I used to drown in curiosity of the unknown as I was stuck in a position where I was so limited while being held back from who I really wanted to be…
I am now able to sit back and embrace these changes that have allowed me to feel at peace with who and where I am in my station in life. With each door that has closed, a new one has opened. Time has been tough, but it does have a purpose. I am grateful for the path that I have taken for it has routed me here. Even though my heart has been broken, the experiences have helped me learn that without pain, there is no gain…
Now with the world in my hands I am able to enjoy life in ways I never imagined. My eyes have been reopened as I learn to let go of my past. I take it all with a grain of salt and take two steps forward. With the help of new friendships, I no longer rely on the old and I get to share this new side of me that is so free. Looking back I now realize how unhappy I was with the lack of change in my life. Although it is scary, it is all so necessary…
I often think that had things not changed for me at that specific time, the outcome could've been entirely different. It's amazing to me how just one choice can alter everything in your life. I was forced to make certain decisions I wasn't quite ready for, but through all of that I feel I came out light years ahead of where I would have otherwise...
I took what was handed to me and made the best of it. It is still a gamble, but worth the risk. This does not discount the pain, nor does it eliminate the chances, but you can take what you've learned and put it to good use all while creating a whole new you...
I’ve realized that life moves fast and forward with or without you, so you can both jump on the train and hold on tight or you can decide to stand still. Eventually you will have missed so much by remaining motionless. Others will continue to move passed you and time will keep getting smaller. A panoramic view holds nothing to the entirety of it all. I feel so blessed and am so grateful for the change that was thrown upon me. I encourage everyone to take the time to make alterations in their lives because life is too short! I appreciate all that has come before me now, for I take it in fully with my heart and extend my thoughts to you so that you can do the same…
By: MKV
6/30/2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
In the eyes of her...
In the eyes of her
did she see more than just a blur
Could she see her mother's strength
or did she see her heart break
As her father walked away
could she see the smile on his face
As he wiped his hands clean
of a very sad scene
which turned out to be more than just a bad dream
In the eyes of her
her mother is still unsure
Did she cry real tears
or was she just living in fear
Will there be a day where she will be reminded
or was she young enough to just be blinded
As her mother tries to hold it all together
she's always praying for something better
Feeling so defeated
as her father just proceeded
leaving her feeling so unneeded
In the eyes of her
is her daddy just "sir"
Will she wake up one day
and wonder why he went away
Will she ask her mother questions
while learning hard life lessons
I'm sure her mother will take the blame
so she won't have to feel the pain
In the eyes of her
this is what I wonder
By: MKV
did she see more than just a blur
Could she see her mother's strength
or did she see her heart break
As her father walked away
could she see the smile on his face
As he wiped his hands clean
of a very sad scene
which turned out to be more than just a bad dream
In the eyes of her
her mother is still unsure
Did she cry real tears
or was she just living in fear
Will there be a day where she will be reminded
or was she young enough to just be blinded
As her mother tries to hold it all together
she's always praying for something better
Feeling so defeated
as her father just proceeded
leaving her feeling so unneeded
In the eyes of her
is her daddy just "sir"
Will she wake up one day
and wonder why he went away
Will she ask her mother questions
while learning hard life lessons
I'm sure her mother will take the blame
so she won't have to feel the pain
In the eyes of her
this is what I wonder
By: MKV
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Survival of the fittest...
It's been a year and I am proud to say that I survived...
June 12, marks the one year anniversary of my surprising divorce. Wow, how time flies whether you're having fun or not! Looking back, I recall being incredibly scared as I was becoming a single mom and I felt like living one more day was simply impossible. It's funny how things change...
My life was full of devastation and regret, disappointment and betrayal. I remember waking up in shock every morning, thinking to myself "this can't be happening to me" and crying every time I saw myself in the mirror. It didn't help that I had a constant reminder of what "was" whenever I looked at my daughter, but somehow I managed to survive...
To be honest, there were more bad days than good this past year, but I lived through them to tell that there are now more good days than bad! Emotionally I struggled with betratyal and certainly my ego, phyically I was without a warm body to hold me, and mentally I was unprepared for what I was about to have to take on. It took me about a week to get it all out of my system and really get all of my ducks in a row. I surrounded myself with family, which is truly how I was able to pull through. Once that week was up, I made the choice to put my big girl panties on and deal with it...
From then on, I've never looked back and wiped my forehead clean in relief. Having that this choice was made for me, I felt that I needed to embrace what was being handed to me, so I did. Not to discount the fact that I still had memories of what "was", and sad moments remembering happier times, but I can see now that it was all just water under the bridge. It was almost as if it was a dream that I had been living, and then suddenly I woke up and realized it never really existed in the first place, yet I have a child to remind me every day that it did exist at one point in time...
The blessing which I consider Audrey Grace, is almost three years old now and is truly the reason for it all. She gives me such power, just by looking at her and knowing she is looking right back at me and will soon follow my lead. Knowing this, I do my best to keep it together and move forward...
As I continue to press on, it is hard for me to believe that I've made it this far, knowing that there was a time where I didn't believe that I would even survive the next day. Life is full of surprises, good and bad but there is a reason for it all and I could not even fathom going back to the life that once "was" in which I thought was so wonderful. Note to all, there is life after love, and the grass is definitely greener on the other side. Here's to a new life, a new love, and green grass...
By: MKV
June 12, marks the one year anniversary of my surprising divorce. Wow, how time flies whether you're having fun or not! Looking back, I recall being incredibly scared as I was becoming a single mom and I felt like living one more day was simply impossible. It's funny how things change...
My life was full of devastation and regret, disappointment and betrayal. I remember waking up in shock every morning, thinking to myself "this can't be happening to me" and crying every time I saw myself in the mirror. It didn't help that I had a constant reminder of what "was" whenever I looked at my daughter, but somehow I managed to survive...
To be honest, there were more bad days than good this past year, but I lived through them to tell that there are now more good days than bad! Emotionally I struggled with betratyal and certainly my ego, phyically I was without a warm body to hold me, and mentally I was unprepared for what I was about to have to take on. It took me about a week to get it all out of my system and really get all of my ducks in a row. I surrounded myself with family, which is truly how I was able to pull through. Once that week was up, I made the choice to put my big girl panties on and deal with it...
From then on, I've never looked back and wiped my forehead clean in relief. Having that this choice was made for me, I felt that I needed to embrace what was being handed to me, so I did. Not to discount the fact that I still had memories of what "was", and sad moments remembering happier times, but I can see now that it was all just water under the bridge. It was almost as if it was a dream that I had been living, and then suddenly I woke up and realized it never really existed in the first place, yet I have a child to remind me every day that it did exist at one point in time...
The blessing which I consider Audrey Grace, is almost three years old now and is truly the reason for it all. She gives me such power, just by looking at her and knowing she is looking right back at me and will soon follow my lead. Knowing this, I do my best to keep it together and move forward...
As I continue to press on, it is hard for me to believe that I've made it this far, knowing that there was a time where I didn't believe that I would even survive the next day. Life is full of surprises, good and bad but there is a reason for it all and I could not even fathom going back to the life that once "was" in which I thought was so wonderful. Note to all, there is life after love, and the grass is definitely greener on the other side. Here's to a new life, a new love, and green grass...
By: MKV
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